This is how it all started…

Introduction to Solitude

In the midst of growing up in a noisy, lively household in West Virginia, with eleven siblings bustling around, solitude became my unexpected sanctuary. I was the seventh child, smack in the middle, where moments of quiet were as rare as they were cherished. My retreats were often to the early morning stillness or the deep woods surrounding our farm. Those places, where silence was a gentle, persistent presence, taught me the beauty of being alone. Through this blog, “The Queer Hermit,” I share how these quiet spaces helped shape me, offering a place not just of refuge but of deep personal connection and understanding.

Early Life

Even as a child, the concept of solitude resonated deeply with me. With a dozen lively voices filling our home, I found my escape in the quiet companionship of dogs. During family gatherings or festive holidays, I would often slip away after just half an hour to find solace in the front yard, a dog by my side. These moments away from the crowd were my first taste of peaceful solitude.

The woods near our farm were another sanctuary. They were the stage for my solitary adventures, where I wasn’t just a boy escaping the noise; I was a creator of worlds. Inspired by tales like “Robin Hood,” I would cast myself not as the legendary outlaw but as a character of my own invention—an ordinary figure with the heart of a hero, stepping in to save the day when needed most. These fantasies, played out among the trees, were not just games; they were my first steps in understanding the power and peace of being alone with my thoughts, crafting a narrative where I could be quietly extraordinary.

Journey to Self-Confidence

My path to self-confidence truly began in an unexpected arena: a sharpshooting competition during my time in the Navy. There, amidst the crack of gunfire and the focused gazes of my squad, I discovered a part of myself I had never met before. Winning the competition wasn’t just about hitting targets; it was about shattering my own self-doubts. I finished far ahead of my nearest competitor, a victory that resonated far deeper than the range.

This achievement catapulted me to a new status among my peers and superiors. Suddenly, I was more than just a member of the medical wing—I was a leader in my squad of seven. The dynamics shifted, and I found myself at the forefront, navigating both the responsibilities and the newfound respect that came with my role. It was a profound turning point; for the first time, I felt truly accepted and capable. This sense of acceptance and capability was new, exhilarating. It marked the end of my old self-doubts and the beginning of a new chapter where I no longer looked back.

Connection to the Reader

If you’ve ever felt the world was too loud, too crowded, or just too much, you’re not alone. “The Queer Hermit” was born from these very feelings—crafted in the quiet corners of a life lived at both the center and the edges of solitude.

This blog is for anyone who finds peace in quiet moments, who treasures solitude not as a retreat from the world, but as a way to engage with it more deeply. Whether you’re navigating your identity, seeking a pause from the social whirl, or simply needing a space to breathe and be, you’ve found a community here.

As a welcome into our community, remember to claim your free copy of the “Mindful Solitude for the Queer Soul” workbook at the top of this page. It’s designed to help you embark on your own journey of introspection and self-discovery.

I invite you to explore these pages, not just as a reader, but as a fellow traveler. Share your stories, your struggles, and your discoveries. Engage with others who feel the same pull towards quiet spaces. Let’s celebrate the strength found in solitude and the unexpected ways it connects us to others.

Here, we understand that being alone does not mean being lonely. Together, we can discover the richness of a life punctuated by introspective pauses. Join me in embracing the quiet, in finding our voices in the silence, and in building a sanctuary where all are welcome.